theBside

I received a Continuing Studies catalogue from SFU the other day.  I glanced through it and was dumbstruck by an advertisement on page 35.

SFU Advertisement

Seriously?  Did anyone even look at the picture before putting it in the ad?  Are they trying to ensure that no women join their programs?  Why would they choose a picture of a women who looks uncertain, or slightly confused?  Why put two men laughing, looking in her direction?  Two Caucasian men – one of who (to me at least) seems to be laughing at someone else’s expense?  They were even so good at choosing images that it looks like the man in the white shirt’s hand is the hand in front of the lady presenting.  It’s almost as though someone actually put some thought and effort into this train wreck.

Could anyone look at this image combination and say “Hey – good stuff!  SFU students have fun and have interactive classes.”  Obviously someone at SFU did …

I’ve emailed the Continuing Studies program and the alumni association – as an alumni myself, I find this unacceptable.

BASE jumping is so tame – where’s my squirrel suit?

Same blue dye in M&Ms linked to reducing spine injury – CNN.com

During a heated discussion at work between two people arguing about whether or not global warming is a hoax, a Senator’s blog was cited as a resource.  Curious, I hit up Wikipedia and found a page on Senator Jim Inhofe.

Quite an interesting fellow really.  Here are some choice quotes from the wikipedia article (take them for what they’re worth).

“It kind of reminds… I could use the Third Reich, the Big Lie… You say something over and over and over and over again, and people will believe it, and that’s their [the environmentalists'] strategy”

He also stated that Global Warming is

” … the second-largest hoax ever played on the American people, after the separation of church and state.”

Yes, that whole separation thing was a massive … uh .. hoax?

He’s even pinned down who’s behind this environmental hoax: The Weather Channel.  They need to keep up their ratings after all.

Now, if this was a joe-shmoe on the street I wouldn’t have noted it, but this is a Senator.  The very same Senator that was chair of the US Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works.

And his ideas on other issues really don’t resonate with me at all.  For example he’s trying to amend the constitution to make same sex marriage illegal.  His presentation on the Senate floor included this little gem, while pointing to a poster-sized picture of his family.

…As you see here, and I think this is maybe the most important prop we’ll have during the entire debate, my wife and I have been married 47 years. We have 20 kids and grandkids. I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship.

Yup, no homosexuals in his family.  None at all … hey .. don’t look in that closet!  What worked for him must therefore be struck into law and work for everyone.

To top it all off, he seems to be representing the people, as his record shows landslide wins for decades now.  Either that or people are simply voting along party lines.

Really?  How does this make any sense at all?

What would cause a group of teachers in the States to “pretend” that there was a person in a school with guns trying to shoot their students, without giving notice that it was a prank or part of a ghost story event?

And then to have one teacher dress up in black and try to get through the locked door while the 6th graders cried under their desks … ?

I think poor judgement is an understatement here.

I know iPods are popular and all, but seriously, do we need jeans like this? Included joystick? Allows visibility of the iPod while pocketed? Seriously?

Boy people patent some wacky things!

For example, any guy who stayed in a college dorm knows what a “Blue Angel” is – young men like to light their intestinal gas on fire and marvel at their innate ability to produce fire. It’s Neanderthalic, its moronic, its free entertainment. Dorm food doesn’t help matters.

Oh sure there are horror stories you hear about how the flame travels up inside and burns a guy, or the explosion is so violent that, well, you get the idea. So two men thought it would be a good idea to patent an idea behind what could possibly be the weirdest “rocket” I’ve ever heard of:

A recreational activity practiced by some individuals is ignition of one’s own flatus. This is performed by using a lit match or candle, or a cigarette lighter. So widespread is this activity that there are web sites on the Internet devoted exclusively to explaining proper lighting techniques.

OK, I’ll take your word on that good sirs.

A major drawback of this popular practice is that it usually involves the hazardous coupling of fire, combustible gases and inebriated participants. Reports of serious burns to body parts are not uncommon, this being especially true when the
participants remove their clothing.

Indeed, you can’t argue with that reasoning. So these two fellows offer up a novel invention to help those poor inebriated firebugs:

A toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly whose missile is composed of a soft head and a tail extending therefrom formed by a piston. … To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The ignitor is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space.

Translation: you launch a rocket by releasing and lighting your “flatus” in this contraption. Yup – someone paid to patent this. I honestly see a market for it too – don’t you?

German researchers, after many long periods of intense research and user testing I’m sure, have produced a Smart Beer Mat.

It’s able to detect when the suds are running low in the glass. It also can detect movement, making those creative TV executives salivate at the thought of interactive TV in pubs. Who votes for Miss America with their beer mat? The pub-goer of the future, that’s who!

And who can forget those beloved pub games?

One important direction which needs further investigation is the large body of drinking games which has developed in certain cultures and how they can be supported using our beer mat.

It’s all very academic and formal. Money well spent. I suppose advertisers would love the thing though.